A Day in the Life of a Tired Entrepreneur

This week has been full of entrepreneurial frustration. You can have 500 ideas, the best intentions in the world trying to build something positive for your family, community, or just for yourself and somehow, it all still finds a way to break down.

Something as simple as creating a calendar so people can see all the fun things celebrated during the month shouldn’t be hard. But it is. Making sure inventory is correct, fighting to keep a $40/month storefront working without having your rights revoked or your products marked “sold out” for no reason it’s freaking endless. You pay vendors, repeat the same steps a hundred times, and it still breaks. And when it does? You’re out of time, energy, and money but not the frustration of it all.

What’s wild is that some days this all feels therapeutic… until it’s not. Until I need therapy just to process the trauma of trying. Then I open social media, and there’s another “guru” saying you can do it in 5 minutes. It’s infuriating. People lie, steal, and build empires on other people’s backs. Meanwhile, I’m trying to build something that matters slowly, honestly and it feels like I’m drowning.

I’ve been working on this for months. And some days, just checking off one thing on the list is a miracle until it disappears and I have to do it all over again. Nothing sticks. Nothing feels done. And it makes me question everything.

I’m tired. I’m pissed. I’m stubborn. I want to quit, but I won’t cuz I'm too pisstated that it feels like something is trying to hold me down and I won't let it. I’ll go broke, get evicted, and eat my feelings before I let this break me. That’s the mood. That’s the truth.

I’ve been working all day. Haven’t done anything for myself. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, and sat in front of a screen trying to feel grateful for the tiny things but nothing feels complete. Nothing feels like enough.

So I ask myself: What am I doing wrong?

Why does every single step feel like a mountain? Why does trying to do something meaningful feel like the hardest choice I could’ve made?

Maybe I should just slap up some merch, post some hashtags, and call it a day. Do what everybody else does. But even that doesn't feel right.

Today, even the simplest things took me six hours to not complete. Maybe that’s why I was eating my feelings. Maybe that’s why today felt like one of those “$#*! workdays.”

I’m drained. I don’t know how much more I’ve got. Wouldn’t it be easier to just get a second job? Somewhere someone tells me to do A, B, C, and D, I get my check, and go home? Let someone else worry about the big dreams?

Because right now, I don’t see anybody showing up for me. And I’m tired of trying to fit into a world that never really had a space carved out for me in the first place.

 

BTW pisstated is a word. It's my word. 

 

PISSTATED
/pisst-ā-ted/ adj.
If pissed off and frustrated had a baby.
A state of being so deeply irritated, so done, so over it yet so committed to not quitting out of sheer spite and stubborn determination. You teeter on the edge of giving up, but don’t, because you’re too pisstated to let whatever (or whoever) is testing you win.

You won’t stop not out of peace, but principle.
If the situation wants you to fold, then you’re doubling down.